A survey conducted by Captivate Network involving 670 white collar North American workers few years back revealed that the profile of the most ‘unhappy worker’ was that of a 40+, single, professional women. The results reinstated the age old social norm that true happiness in a women life lies at the end of the aisle and declaring single woman = happy a complete anathema.
But there is another notable factor here that seemed to have added to the ‘unhappiness factor’ namely reclining age. Now every woman would like to believe (and project) that she never crossed that awful 30’s mark but in reality in their mind, women start fearing turning 30 ever since they turn 27 (or perhaps even earlier) and blow imaginary 30 candles on a mammoth cake in their nightmares.
But it’s not just the rising graph of age that troubles them. It’s a bucket full of other issues that comes coupled with the 30’s milestone that adds to those peeping worry wrinkles.
Here’s to list the top few (yeah there are more):
1. Shying away from attending friends marriages and baby shower celebrations:
You have to understand that your friends are not conspiring against you by getting married neither are they inviting you to their bachelors to see how you look when you turn green-with-envy and yes your cousins are definitely not getting pregnant for the sake of running ahead you in the ‘I-became-mommy-first’ competition.
Much as you would like to believe, the world is not about you alone and people have better things to do than to plan their life events with the sole purpose of making you miserable.
2. Un-tagging every unflattering picture of yours from the social networking sites:
I know it’s absolutely criminal to tag us in a picture that doesn’t do enough justice to our youthful skin, voluminous hair, twinkling eyes (how could you click a red eye), perfect curves, D &G handbag and Kenneth Cole NY stilettos but this little hobby turns into an obsession the moment we cross 30 for the fear of losing ‘would –be’ grooms who we like to believe are browsing every social networking site in the world just to find us.
A quick reality check here ladies. We are humans and have both our diva and bad-hair-day moments. If we looked like we were coming out of the spa 24×7 we might as well be waxed at Madam Tussauds but since we are living-moving beings and it’s sanely not possible to adorn the I-am-so-sexy-look while brushing your teeth, it’s only human to let the world see our….well human pictures.
3.Fearing being left out alone eventually since everybody else has a sweety pie, oodle do, adorable kiddo (and a dog to complete the happy family picture) :
Every Christmas and Easter after the family has had its share of muffins, plums and hot cocoa, exchanged gifts , hugs and kisses ,stop checking out the happy couples and families (from the corner of your eye) wondering what-could-have-been had we been in their place.
Stop! And get down from your futile imaginative journey…..take a look around. You are happy, single, among loving family members and are in great shape. Isn’t it enough reason to be cheerful about and enjoy this moment that you are in.
You can wait to deal with the could-have-been’s when they really happen.
4. Giving up on your favorite foods as if it was plague:
With the constant pressure to maintain the wishful figures on the vital stats measuring scale and fitting every pretty dress on the display doesn’t really helps.
We look with dreamy eyes at that last helping of the chocolate chip cheesecake, pass a flying kiss and sigh a mental goodbye before we look away.
But the question is why to devoir ourselves of the pleasures of heavenly, mouth-watering foods and take away one of the best pleasures known to humankind – joy of eating from our lives. Is it really worth it?
5. Projecting the OH-I –AM-SO-COOL image all the time:
It’s good if people see you as the fun girl-next-door and it’s great if you really are the chill-out types but if you fall in the category of none-of-the-above stop trying to fit in.
6. Hooking up with the next guy who smiles your way:
It’s hard to turn down even the bag of fried sweet sour chips you absolutely loathe if you are hungry. Not that I am comparing the guy you are seeing to the fatty chip, just that its stupid to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one.
You are doing injustice not just to yourself by being with the wrong person but also to the poor fellow. Please stop underestimating yourself, Stick to your likes (dislikes), give due honour and credit to your feeling, don’t force relationships on yourself or the other way around. Because in the end it just spells disaster!
7. Visiting gym regularly as if it was a place of worship
This is for those who have just gotten enrolled with gym membership to torture themselves with muscle breaking routines just to project the image of a conscious and mature 30 year old, believe me there are better ways of doing it.
If you are not the gym type, just go for a run instead!
8. Changing profile Pic (on fb , twitter, whatsapp et al) often enough to make people wonder if you are planning to join the modelling industry:
Yes, really please stop that. Posting pics on the internet may have grown big enough to be coined a favourite nationals hobby but changing your profile pic that many times just gives out one message read desperate(anybody told you that…probably no!).
You look as ravishing in your current profile pic as you did in the last 50….slow down babes; you really are not running for face-of-the-year-contest.
9. Counting how many years behind are you in terms of relationships/marriage on each birthday
There are better ways to celebrate your growing old than to mentally count 100 times on your birth-day how many years are you now lacking behind the ideal age of getting married, getting pregnant, getting pregnant again and so on.
10.Fearing being labelled as frustrated crazy bitch :
No you do not qualify for the B**** Boss title just because you are single and in the latter half of your 30’s. Go ahead and spank the sh*t out of the won’t-move- my-ass-employee without fearing to be labelled as one.
11. Constantly making yourself believe that even though You have everything there is still something important missing :
If watching wrestling matches(with your coochie coo) over weekend evenings while popping up his favourite butter popcorn in the microwave, adjusting in the 25% vacant area on the bed, counting and investigating the number and colour of poo and puke and slipping on small red cars while trying to tip toe to the kitchen in the middle of the night are things you would die for, yes I agree you are missing a lot… otherwise relax, fold your hands in utter gratefulness and pledge yourself to make the most of these glorious(uncrowded, uninterrupted, yours-truly) golden years of your life.
12.Fearing being unapproved by the social godfathers for not matching the status quo:
As for the social class masters, ignore them for they are just jealous that there are happier women on this planet who have better ways to spend their evenings than setting the dinner table and fighting for the T.V remote.