By : Swati Chauhan
Like any other culture or society Indians exhibit their special traditions, customs, habits and lifestyle through the unique behavior traits they display and by doing things a little differently than the rest of the world.
It is these notably strange ‘ways of doing things’ that have now become second-identity for an Indian across the world.
A little witty, a little teasy and a little on your face, here’s a list of 35 weird things Indians do that drives the rest of the world crazy.
You know you are a ‘true-blue Indian’ if:
1. You use the same expression to convey the following emotions Yes/No /Maybe/ Perhaps /OK/Thanks/ sure/not sure/why not/agree/disagree – and that is of course the famous Indian head bobble.
2. You stare at couples, girls, boys, uncles, aunties, Indians, foreigners with a gaze that can put x – rays to shame and you conveniently shrug it off believing that you are just a good observer (and not a creep or pervert).
3. No matter how sad or grumpy you may be, your mood is instantly lifted up at the sound of these three words: Treat, Cricket, End -of-season sale.
4. You cannot stop crying at the following occasions: When you are happy, when you are sad, when chopping onion (which is minimum three times in a day), while watching soap operas (at both happy and sad scenes), at marriages ceremonies no matter who’s, while gulping your glass of Mint water you ordered along with your gol gappas (spicy Indian snack).
5. You do not take off your plastic seat covers from your new car the whole year and if possible not even after that.
6. You inquire rates and prices of 80% of display products in the window not because you intend to make a purchase but to make sure you are updated on all the current rates and market prices.
7. You make an excuse of being stuck in traffic for arriving late even when you live around the corner and have walked down.
8. You come back home from a continental dinner, realize that you are still hungry and rummage the fridge for left over daal chaal(Indian food) and finally settle for some good old Maggi(Popular Indian Noodle Brand).
9. You secretly apply coconut oil in your hair after bath and claim it to be the new gel wax you brought from the super expensive branded store over the weekend.
10. Your kitchen cupboards boasts of more plastic containers of all possible shapes and sizes than actual groceries.
11. You fiercely fight to pay the 1500 Rs. at the office lunch get together but spend five minutes convincing the vegetable vendor to give you a 10 Rs. levy on your purchase along with extra coriander and green chilli.
12. At a buffet, you feel overwhelming sense of responsibility to taste all the 25 dishes , 6 soups and 5 deserts even if it means rolling on the bed groaning with stomach pain and consuming copious amount of digestive tablets.
13. You carry magazines in your car to read while waiting at red lights.
14. When you come back from an international flight you are instantly demanded to surrender your loot of goodies, jam, scented napkins and cookies you have secured from your hotel room and flight.
15. You strongly feel and complain about how Traffic has no sense (better than saying you have none) and use it as an excuse to go left, right, turn and even return..errr…. reverse at our own whim and fancy.
16. The word ‘Trash’ does not exists in your dictionary as you store and re-use and re-use and re-use everything…including plastic bags, jam bottles, Horlicks bottles, gift wrappers, cardboard boxes, old clothes , books etc etc etc.
17. You call up all long forgotten uncles , aunts and cousins from office phone, print your son’s 100 page science report and take back ample office supply of pens, stoppers, scissors , paper weights and paper clips home every month enough to start your own stationary shop.
18. You ask personal questions like relationship status and monthly salary from your neighbor during a DTC bus ride.
19. You dance, celebrate and give treats to friends if the Indian team wins and keep a count of the amount of gold, silver and bronze bagged at commonwealths, tennis, or Olympics by Indian team.
20. You order a take away pizza so that you can enjoy it at home without the hassle of fork and knife.
21. And when you take the pizza, you don’t forget to fill your supplies of tissues, ketchup, salt, pepperoni and oregano sachets.
22. You only go to restaurants that offer waiters and other helping staff. You hate the self-help types.
23. You gossip about Ranbir Kapoor’s latest girlfriend and discuss when Salman Khan (famous Bollywood stars) will eventually get married with equal fervour as you discuss the new AAP (newly elected ruling party in Delhi)strategy to evade corruption.
24. You find it difficult to replace sir/madam with first name even when your boss insists you do fearing he may get offended.
25. You have an instant liking for a person you discover belongs to your state or shares the same surname.
26. You don’t feel guilty of throwing trash on the sidewalk because it is so dirty anyway.
27. You assume that you should start from home by 8 (after considering the 1 hour that would be spent stuck up in traffic) for a 7 p.m invitation.
28. You find it perfectly ok to wear sport shoes with trousers or under salwar and saree and a sports t-shirt to an evening out.
29. You hesitate opening doors and pulling chairs for your lady love fearing someone would mistake you for a gatekeeper or waiter.
30. You buy one large coke with your meal and use the same glass to refill for the entire family.
31. You subscribe to popular English dailies but your favorite Dainik jagran(Popular Hindi newspaper) is what makes the morning tea special.
32. And the first thing you look at in the morning newspaper(even before the main page headline) is your Horoscope for the day to start your day on a positive note.
33. You are shy but do not take much time to open up(maximum two requests to join the dance floor is enough) and then it gets difficult to get you off it.
34. You get your days exercise pushing and shoving people during bus rides, in queues, trying to board Metro trains and buying a movie ticket. So much so for going to the gym!
35. You think nothing is impossible and there exists a ‘Jugaad’ (Hindi synonym for ‘ work around’ )for every problem on earth.
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